you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
