$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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