Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
