accomplished twins. life is a go
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
