He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
