Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
