my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
