you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
now i know why i became what i already was.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize