I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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