farters have to be the big spoon...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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