Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize