Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
