I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
