after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
