i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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