I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
