none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
