i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i was born a porn star she said
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
