I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
