but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
