woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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