U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
