Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
