Christians are straight up FREAKS
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
