Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
