She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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