so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My penis needs a shock collar
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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