THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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