i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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