and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
