I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
