Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
