The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
