i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
