Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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