R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I take back everything I said about communal showers
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize