This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
