quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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