Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
