Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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