Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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