And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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