Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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