my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Too much gin, very little bucket
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
