So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
