Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
