I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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