Got a toothbrush?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
