I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
