dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We left the knife in your bed.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
