How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize