I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no you cant smoke seaweed
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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