ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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