i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
