her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
