At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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