bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
