like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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