Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
