I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
