id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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