your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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