my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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