your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
