okay pat passed out under dana's car
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
