When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
