We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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