I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
