She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
