Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
