singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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